Hard days

So I have a issue , I've had 23 miscarriages and have found them very hard. We are now pregnant again I'm 38 a d due in May, we are 11 weeks now and I'm getting excited this may be the one. Drs have me on a lot of meds including progesterone. I'm trying to be positive but one of the meds gives me migraines as well and I get nausea not vomiting. My partner is Amazing but we found out at 3 weeks so we have been pregnant forever already. I feel I'm not enjoying this pregnant as I'm so scared we will lose it , I'm bitching about all the pregnancy symptoms when all I ever wanted was to be pregnant. Anyone one else had this Massive losses and now have a happy bub and points on relaxing would be very helpful