D&C or natural..

I just saw my precious babies strong HB on Friday.. due to spotting I went in to get some reassurance that spotting is normal.

For me it wasn’t.

The instant the ultrasound turned on my heart sunk. That sweet little flicker I had seen so instantly just a few days ago wasn’t there.

I also had a MMC in May. I never got to see that babies heartbeat. Although it hurt so bad this is just a whole new level of pain since I knew this baby was very much alive as I had seen it with my own eyes.

With my MMC I chose to go the natural route as I was scared of the complications that could come with a d&c. I had no idea what to expect but I was told it would be like a heavy period.

WRONG. This felt like childbirth. I had horrible contractions followed by gushes of blood overfilling a pad every few minutes. The worst of it lasted a few hours but I continued to spot for over a month & my next period was super heavy which also took 8 weeks to get back. HCG lingered & I felt like that MC was never ending. I wished I had gone the easy route with a D&C.

Now here I am again having to choose. Although I know how the medical MC works it was devastating & felt like eternity but I still have so much fear about a D&C with the risks of complications & future pregnancies. I am so torn. If you had a D&C what was your experience? Any complications? Would you do it again?