Dating help

i’ve been talking to a certain someone for a year and some weeks and i don’t wanna force anything so i tend not to ask the “ what are we question” we live 4 - 5 hours away from each other and we have been going back and forth with coming to see each other. he pays for my stuff, and i also do the same. i just wanna know what we are doing but i wanna lead up to the question and not come off like i’m tired of what we have or something. i just want to be sure that we are building on something and not just wasting each other’s time... any advice on this ?