Husband is abusive

Ok so I don’t know how to start this I e been with my husband 7 years we had been together a year and he started to get abusive punching me in the head shouting at me throwing me around I felt like I couldn’t leave then we moved out and I thought things got better and he asked me to marry him and I said yes we married the next year but during the wedding planning things went wrong he locked me in a room and took the door handle off I had to call my mum to help I was so scared he started hitting me again but I was to scared to leave he told me I was crazy and everything was my fault that I deserve everything I got and I believed him. I let him get away with it we married and things were ok and I found out I was pregnant and he started to act funny with me I then stumbled across a very serious porn addiction he had it was everywhere right under my nose the whole seven years we had been together. Terrified I asked him about it to receive abuse telling me that was my fault and I shouldn’t have been snooping bare in mind I wasn’t snooping i went on the computer and ended up on the history looking for a useful website I had just closed by accident then found it all anyway he promised to stop because the baby anyway in may he started being off again so this time I went searching and found it again I asked him about it again and got the same reaction so I gave up. He shouted at me a lot during pregnancy and I shouted back at him we argued a lot anyway baby was born and I thought about leaving him then 3 weeks after she was born we had a disagreement that ended up on him bending my thumb back and breaking my thumb he refused to take me to a n e I had to take myself and lie to my family about how I broke it then tonight I asked him to get off his phone he ignored me so I asked him again to be slapped round the face I’m so scared of him and after he hurts me he acts like I deserve it telling me it’s my fault then a few hours later wants to be my friend and I stupidly forgive him he constantly uses sex as a oh see I do love you you should be thankful you get this.

I don’t know what to do im scared to leave as he shredded my self esteem so bad I don’t think anyone will ever want me again. I feel so low I actually think I’m depressed. I tried to leave when he broke my thumb to be told I was a bad mother and got a lot of abuse for leaving. I’m so scared to tell my family because they think our relationship is perfect but they don’t see behind closed doors.