My ex boyfriend has me so deeply in his spell and he’s absolutely shattered my heart. While we were together there was nothing but passion and happiness, the sex was the most amazing thing ever, we were always kinky, flirty, and loving, he was so romantic, a writer and a poet, so amazing with his words. He was dark but alluring and made the darkest things sound beautiful. He was so unique. I’m so enticed and drawn in by him, I can’t get him out of my head. He made me so many promises, talked about the future, and was so good to me. He had a dark past, such as prison (he broke into a guys house and beat him up after finding out the guy was beating his friend) & gangs & drug dealing, but it made him all the more enticing. The way he talked to me. But he cheated on me, not only that but he basically tried telling me it was my fault, and the day before I caught him cheating he accused me of it. He threatened to hurt me when I told the other girl and I took it all back from her. I still wanted him. I went over, we had sex, we were strained but I made him smile. But before we had sex I had told him I wanted to talk, and he said “either you give it to me, or I’ll take it” so I let him. I also flinched when he moved his hand toward me because he sometimes scares me, and he asked “what? You want me to hit you bitch? I don’t hit females” he’s horrible but he’s so good, after this I told him how I felt about him, the good in my heart for him, and he said he doesn’t like love, even though he told me he loved me. We were in my car, bantering, he was tickling me, I said cute things to make him smile & blush, seeing him do that... gave me the most happiness in the world. I want him so dearly but he told me even if I was the best woman on earth he wouldn’t pursue me because he needs to figure himself out since he got out of prison and wants to be alone. I think about him all the time, he drives me insane. I miss him so much, people tell me he’s toxic and manipulative, but I can’t help he has my heart. I long for him always. I don’t know how to stop this pain, this insanity I feel for him. I need help.