Did being a mom change you?

Question

Do you feel like becoming a mom to your little human being change you? If so how?
Since having my baby on August 19th of this year I feel at a loss with my identity. I am a stay at home wife/mom now, I clean, do laundry, cook, attend to my husband and of course attend to my baby’s needs. I cried to my husband about this because I am saddened my old life is gone. None of my friends have kids, I wouldn’t say I’m the youngest mom out there ( I’m 21) but they can’t relate. I feel lonely because I don’t see my friends I moved pretty far away from home so I don’t see my family and I don’t go out like I used to. The liberty i once felt is gone I feel enclosed in this apartment I live in. I don’t do the things I used to do.. go out with my girlfriends, go to the beach, drive aimlessly and end up somewhere random, go out to eat, pursue my photography hobby, not even go to the movie theater or to hike like I used to do. I am sleep deprived and tired. The lack of energy and motivation is driving me into this deep hole of sadness and I grieve the past. And I grieve that my dreams I once had are gone my life is forever changed.  And yet.. I wouldn’t change a thing because I love my baby more than anything in the world.

Answer

I'd say you have written down a good list of issues for you to change :-)
One very important thing: you are still young so you might not have noticed - it is not your job to care for your husband. Staying at home or not, you are equals. He is a grown up. You care for your kid, maybe take a bigger share of the household, but you need room and energy for yourself. Turning into the unpaid maid of a man will only prevent that.
As for the rest: Sounds like you need some new girls! When I was lonely, I started to meet aquaintances. I actively checked which ones could be friends. Then I invited some of them (tiny groups) for little gatherings. Worked perfectly - and saved my relationship. Everyone needs a gang ;-)

Answer

Being a new mommy is hard. You are still learning and growing into be the person and mother you will see later down the road. I understand how you feel 100% and with my son I’m limited on what “normal” things I can do. 
I miss how things used to be but I’ve grown into a person I’ve learned to love and be proud of. I’m a stay at home mom too, it’s not easy but it does get easier I promise. The sleep deprivation never really leaves lol only because your a mom now, ask anyone 😂. You are doing an amazing job, you make sure you are taking care of yourself so you are able to be your best self for your beautiful baby ❤️

Answer

It’s hard to describe the change, but it’s been a huge one. I understand what you mean when you say you lost your identity, Bc I felt that way too. I identified with my job, my school, my career so much and then all of a sudden that was done. And then there was this tiny human that relied on me entirely and I was (and still am haha!) full of overwhelming emotions. I didn’t leave the house Bc I was scared to breastfeed in public, I didn’t cook Bc I was exhausted, I didn’t go to the gym Bc I was scared to leave him with my husband. It took me about 4 months, but now I’m getting back to my new normal. I had to force myself out of my comfort zone, but now I know that my LO will be ok with dad while I run errands, go to the gym etc. when we go to the mall and he’s hungry I feed him (and stare right back at anyone who stares at me 🤣) I love to cook/bake, and I’ve learned to just put him in the bouncer in the kitchen and as long as I talk to him about my recipes he loves to watch. And I just got my new job lined up to start when he’s 6 months, with a schedule that lets me be with him during the day.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that you have a list of things that you love to do, it’s important that you do those things to feel like yourself. You might have to modify them a bit, but I’m sure your LO would love to stroll with you on a hike, or put baby in a carrier and go find some amazing photo opportunities.

Answer

Absolutely! I felt that I finally became who I was meant to be. I’ve always wanted to be a mommy my whole life and once I finally became one I felt whole. My life was no longer just about me and I’ve made a lot of sacrifices for my children that I feel I will never regret. I’ll be having my third and final baby in 17 days. It’ll be a bitter sweet moment in my life.

Answer

You just became a mom, you're still going to change, it's not always going to be like that in the same boring routine, I became a mom last year in august and the first year was definitely the hardest, I had no social life and my friends didn't want to invite me anymore, no job, so my 14 month old is bigger and now I got a job interviews lining up, interesting you bring up photography because I enrolled for a workshop, want to take up my hobby and try to make it into a side job, I travel more often, just last couple of months, I went los Angeles and the Monterey Bay aquarium, chin up and think positive

Answer

And you’re little boy is adorable btw

Answer

Take your camera out AND your beautiful baby. Take pictures of her. Go drive aimlessly with her in the car seat and end up somewhere random making memories together. I know things change a lot after having a baby young. I lost a lot of friends during that time and a lot of confidence too to be honest. But I also had postpartum depression so that was probably a lot of it.

Did being a mom change you?

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