I was sexually assaulted TWICE in a year!

My name is Vanessa. I am 19 years old. In January I was sexually assaulted by my uncle. I was stuck in a mental debate with myself for two days on what I should do and what the repercussions would be if I were to tell. I was sexually assaulted in a hotel in the middle of the night while my cousins and aunt slept. I woke upto my uncle on top of me. I was scared petrified and most of all in shock. I went to the police two days later and turned over all the clothes I was wearing that night. Since that night I became aware that this was not the first assault from my uncle. In fact I was made aware that the first one was when I was 11! Fucking 11! So for the last 8 years this has been happening! I waited to hear anything for over 6 and a half months. In July they got a 100 percent match of his DNA and in August he was arrested. He was in jail for about 3 weeks before getting out on bail. He tried to tell my family and people I cared about that I was a liar and that there was no proof. There is. I start the trial in December. In September, I was sexually assaulted again. This time by my cousin. In the middle of the night, in my own home, in my bed. This cousin knew about the first assault and knew how much I struggled with getting back on track after the first assault. I reported it only a few hours after it happened. I was broken I am broken. I have a fiance deployed overseas who i had to tell this to over the phone and through a letter and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I have had to do it twice now. People in my family questioned my credibility, my sanity, and my emotional and mental stability. I was alone for the first few days after it happened and once again I am having to start over. I am scared to be alone in a room with anybody regardless of age, sex, or relation to me. I can't sleep if someone else is in the room with me. I am completely conscious of what I wear and how much skin I show. I am petrified of males. (This sadly includes all 5 of my brothers) I am suffering internally. My cousin confessed to what he did to me. He got 3 years. His sentencing is in about a week or so and I have decided to go and to read my victim impact statement. I am not doing it for anyone but me. I have no interest in anything else other than getting better and moving forward and coming to peace with myself. My assaults don't define me but I am struggling with moving forward again after the second one. This may be a little much for some people and I'm sorry but I needed to tell part of my story because everyone else in my family just wants me to hide it and pretend that it didnt happen or they are trying to tell the basics or my story for me but it's mine to share and enough people have taken enough from me. I deserve to keep my voice. I am stronger than who everyone is trying to make me out to be. I'm still smiling

PS I did post this somewhere else but I need some positivity in my life right now.

I want to be the voice for women out there that either never got the chance to or they felt like they couldn't. I am speaking at the sentencing next Friday. I am struggling with doing this on my own without my fiance and in a home where I am not fully believed or where this is used to throw in my face to shit me up or keep me home. I am hoping to share my story and allow other women know that YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM YOU ARE A STRONG ASS SURVIVOR!

My post was removed and I am very upset about it! Your comments were helping me so much!