Should I buy the shoes?

Question

I've been vegetarian for 11 years and I started a vegan lifestyle back in February. It's been hard on my husband because he's carnivorous, but he's been really thoughtful. I changed all our items cruelty free in the house and I only fix vegan meals at home. He sometimes will go buy himself meat to add to his dish, but he's been really nice to me about this and I know this was a big change.
So Christmas is coming. He never asks me to buy things for him that he knows I'm uncomfortable buying. But last week, he said "I don't know what you were planning on getting me for Christmas, but I'd really love a new pair of boots. And I'd like them made with the real leather, please." What am I going to do? I love him so much, he never complains or asks for anything, but he knows that's 💯% against everything I believe in. I feel stuck. What should I do?
He really has his heart set on these particular pair of boots and I feel like a terrible wife for not wanting to get them for him. I also feel like a terrible human being for considering putting my husband's wants over a life that would have to be taken. I just don't know what to say to him.

Accepted Answer

If he’s been supportive about your lifestyle change, I think you can suck it up for one pair of boots. The cow is already dead, sorry to say.

Answer

I’m a vegetarian-slowly-transitioning-to-vegan, and my husband is a carnivore. In a perfect world, sure, my husband would have the same diet as me, but it’s not fair for me to enforce my beliefs onto him. In this situation, it’s all about mutual respect and working with each other’s differences. At dinner, I make two separate meals, one vegan and one meaty. Sure it’s more work, but it’s worth it. If he wanted something made of leather I would buy it for him, just not for myself, and he would then buy cruelty-free for me. He doesn’t try to convert me back to being a carnivore, so I don’t try to convert him to a vegan lifestyle. Talk to your man and try to work something out. I know it’s tough, but you gotta respect where he’s coming from just as he respects you and your decisions. Good luck!

Answer

If my husband wants leather shoes, he buys them himself. There are so many great non-vegan shoes out there (check out MooShoes!) and he knows if he asks me for shoes, he’s getting high quality, stylish, vegan shoes. 
Explain why it breaks your heart, support his choice to buy them for himself, and ask him for other gift options.

Answer

You can believe what you want. I think you should try and get over your ideologies and put your husbands happiness first.

Answer

No way synthetic leather that is made nowadays is just as durable if not more than real leather. I actually think it’s really disrespectful that he would ask you to get them for him that tells me that you guys just are not at all on the same page either that or that he doesn’t take your position on issues seriously.

Answer

It’s shallow to be that fickle about a GIFT. If he wants something specific why doesn’t he buy them for himself? I think gift giving is way more fun when there’s actually a surprise to it. Maybe you can get him something durable in veg leather and find some sort of vintage leather boots secondhand and get them refurbished if you’re worried about creating a demand in that market? Also why are obviously not vegan people even in this group?

Answer

Look up Vegetarian Shoes UK they have really nice boots with fake leather. I bought my husband work boots and even nice dress shoes for his suit from there. They are made very well and you won't feel bad for buying them. Hope this helps good luck.

Answer

Personally I wouldn’t, and you shouldn’t feel selfish for it if you don’t. You know what’s selfish? The cows that are tortured and slaughtered for leather (plus the workers who are injured in the process of leather making) just so that humans can wear their skin. I always put my beliefs first.

Answer

Buy him some faux or vegan shoes! There a tons of good quality, fair trade, environmental friendly shoes out there! I’m sure he will love them! And maybe he will change his mind about “leather”

Answer

Back when I ate meat I didn’t obligate my s.o (veg of 11 years) to pay for my cheeseburgers. I certainly wouldn’t have made a fuss or forced him to pay for meat-centric meals for me. You can have different lifestyles while being understanding and good partners. When there’s a conflict or problems of any kind in a relationship “suck it up” is horribly childish and short-sighted advice. 
You eating what you want doesn’t mean you owe him a debt for being reasonable you have to repay in cow skin.

Should I buy the shoes?

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