Am I really that stupid?

We were cleaning a room for one of my friends to stay with us temporarily... and I saw this written note. I almost put it awake but I saw that it was written as a letter to someone meaningful.

I started to read it, and it was a letter that my boyfriend wrote to his ex.

He claims it’s old but we literally went thru all of his stuff before we moved in to our own place 5 months ago and there was no letter.

He doesn’t know, but I’ve seen a convo that he started with the ex(the one that the letter I know is for) on FB messenger on the day I graduated..

it only says hey and what’s up on his end, but either the rest was deleted or he didn’t respond to her.

I don’t really care which, as we have had SO many problems already and he sees nothing wrong. I try to initiate sex, talking and having open communication, surprising him with things etc.. and he never wants too. His whole internet search is either 1 of 2 things. Porn or the whole presidency stuff. He talks to me something awful sometimes. Between that and my best friends not being there for me on anything.. I feel so damn alone. I want to make it work but I don’t know how much more I can take. Am I that stupid for hoping he doesn’t have feelings for this ex? And that I want to work things out?

Why message her on fb and write this letter... saying how you miss her so much and she’s the only one he can open up too. They dated for 2 weeks. We’ve been together for almost 2 years.

I feel like a failure.