Not Ready...💔

I have an ultrasound today to confirm that my baby has no heartbeat. My emotions are all over the place and the sadness comes in waves with no warning. Most of me knows that I’m not going to get good news, but there’s still something in me that’s hoping there was a mistake and that my baby is fine. It’s like I’ve already accepted this miscarriage but also refuse to accept it at the same time. I was looking so forward to making my son a big brother and growing my little family. I miss that new baby smell, I miss breastfeeding, I even miss the blowouts! I wanted this baby so badly and I’m dreading having to officially say goodbye and face reality. There are not words to describe how devastating and heartbreaking this is. I’m only about 10 weeks along but I already had so many plans for this little one. My heart was so ready for this and now it’s crushed 💔