I’m past fed up

My SO had a heck of a time together the first few months of my pregnancy. He never wanted kids, begged for an abortion, put me through quite a bit of hell to the point we were no longer in a romantic relationship but I stayed patient and calm for the sake of our baby. Well he started making sense of his life and what was important and started trying to be a better man for us, and during his progress his (POS) father basically told him that if we weren’t going to get back together right then, and if he wasn’t 100% ready to be a father right then, that he should just give up and kick me and our unborn baby to the crib, not help support her financially, and just walk away. The WORST “advice” anyone could ever give, especially a father to his expecting son. Of course my SO told me this right away and I was so upset because I’M the one who was put through hell and I stayed patient and open to give him time to decide if he wanted to truly stick around or walk away. And amidst all this effort and patience, his dad was pissed that things weren’t moving fast enough for his liking. So like rational adults, my SO and I sat his father and step mom down for a talk because we felt like we had to make it clear that our relationship was between US only, and we are the only two parents of our daughter, so the parenting is up to US. Both of which should be common sense, but clearly we had to draw a line. So a couple days after this talk, my SO calls me after his father comes to him again behind my back saying I was “blowing smoke” out of my ass during that conversation and they apparently didn’t care about anything we talked about. Just complete disrespect for me as MY child’s mother. So I distanced myself quite a bit from them after that. No point to the stress and drama if the people on the other end aren’t going to be receptive.

Also, mind you these people LOVED me in their son’s life when I wasn’t pregnant and I would just let them spew their BS with a smile on my face and never really argued or minded their attitude. But since I got pregnant and had momma bear instincts, I made it clear they can’t manipulate me or try and bend me to their will. So now I’m this “horrible, disrespectful” person. On top of it, his father has repeatedly made disgusting, sexual comments about me and my pregnant body, and also, his step mother has on multiple occasions DEMANDED that she be considered an equal grandmother to that of my actual mom and my SO’s actual mom. This step mom has only been married in the family a handful of years and has treated my SO like crap through all of them. But has on several occasions basically told us that she WILL be equal to our actual mothers. So these people are a real piece of work.

So fast forward to about a month ago, my SO brought his father to my house one day knowing I had an issue with it, so during a phone call with my SO, I told him I didn’t want his father in my house after all of the things he’s said about me. My home is my personal space and I just didn’t want someone who constantly disrespects me there. Nothing hateful about his dad, just straight truths about how I feel as a result of how I’ve been treated. Well, his father overheard the phone call and of course had attitude right away. Now again, I’M the disrespectful one for actually being upset for how they’ve treated me. He was apparently so pissed off about this phone call that he told my SO that maybe his step mom just won’t come to my baby shower then if “that’s how she’s going to be”. I only invited her to be nice and civil, trying to be an adult in the situation still. And then even after all of this, I invited them to my 3D ultrasound, trying to be nice and keep them included regardless of how they’ve acted. Well instead of declining to me directly, they went behind my back AGAIN saying how I’m so disrespectful and they aren’t going to go to the ultrasound bc of it, and then - get this - his dad said he’d go to the ultrasound but only with his son, and only if I don’t go. I’m not sure what his father expects to see on the monitor then, but yep. Apparently if I attend my own ultrasound (THAT IM PAYING FOR) then they don’t want to go. I had enough by this point.

So I just stopped entirely dealing with the BS. Until today, when my SO had to stop at his dads house for some of his belongings there, and they ambushed him BEHIND MY BACK again, talking about how they still think the conversation we had with them months prior was a “joke” and that I acted all high and mighty like the “president of the United States”. All because they didn’t like hearing that they don’t have a say in our relationship or in raising our daughter. They continue to disrespect me as her mother, act like they don’t care about what I have to say when it comes to MY child. And they continue to go behind my back with this crap when I TRIED to be an adult and talk to them, which apparently is just a big “joke”. My baby isn’t even born yet, and this is already just so stressful and aggravating. I can feel a talk coming between me and them soon, I just need some advice before I go mental, because everything I have to say to them is no different than what I’ve already told them. It’s like they expect me just just toss my hands up and say they can just have my daughter then. So any talk is pointless and going to result in more gossip behind my back, and I’m just so agitated about what life is going to be like dealing with them after my baby girl is here.

PLEASE HELP