Single

So sorry if Im all over the place, Im crying as Im writing this. I just need to get this out im just hurt and fed up.

Alright so Im 27 weeks pregnant with our first child and I broke up with my ex today. So Ive already been feeling down as I have dealt with depression way before pregnancy and Ive been trying to not let it bother me during pregnancy to not put any stress on my baby.

But today something came over me and I just snapped. Now my ex was not a bad guy but he would irritate me at times, for example he has not finished high school and has the chance to still get his diploma but he wont do anything towards it unless I nag about it. But I feel like damn you’re a grown man take care of your responsibilities. Its a bunch of little things he does and doesn’t do that pisses me off that I try not to let bother me but I cant. Another would be that he doesn’t listen and Ill get to that in one second.

So back to what I was saying so today I snapped because my mother pisses me off with comments she makes about things regarding MY child. Example: I revealed to her what I was going to name my baby and she said “Ill just call her Sallie Mae” which I snapped on her about and told her if she wasn’t going to say my baby’s name right to not worry about seeing her at all..

But today she asked me if I was still planning on joining the military after I have my baby and I said yes Im just trying to figure out who could watch her since my she is in the military and deploys randomly AND my ex plans on going to the military as well but again not done with high school.

So she made a comment that I could leave my DAUGHTER with my father (whom I don’t fuck with heavily/at all for many reasons) now that doesn’t sound like a big deal but my fathers brother touched me when I was a child (my father still communicates with this brother and knows of the situation I’m talking about but clearly the shit doesn’t matter) and Id be damned if I allow my child to be anywhere with my father alone without me or her father around.

So it bothered me alot so I called my ex and explained to him why I was pissed off and all he is doing is scrolling up and down Facebook and saying “Oh nah she trippin” or “Mmm”. At that point I just hung up in his face and told him not to call me back I just didn’t want to talk.(I felt a breakdown coming) So he texts me basically not to tell him anything anybody says to piss me off bc I’m going to just take it out on him. This was not true as I was about to have a breakdown worrying about the wellbeing of my child.

So I just texted him back that I was done and he is now blocked. Im tired of being mistreated and unheard. I have no friends so I have no one to talk to and I refuse to talk to my mother because Im tired of her shit as well. I just feel my whole world is crashing down and I really just want my daughter. I cant help but cry as I feel her little elbow and feet when she kicks and stuff and trying to remember that she is who im living for now.....

Thank you for letting me vent.