*sensitive post about unwanted sexual contact* needing help*

Over 5 years ago I stayed at my new best friends house for the first time I only just moved to this place and didn’t know anyone else since being homeless after being kicked out and I was only 15 at this time, we drank and hung out with her brothers and their friends. Later that night I took myself to bed as I was feeling to drunk and didn’t want to be sick not long after her brother came in and kissed me and started to finger me, I pushed him away and was telling him to stop as he had a girl friend he tried again but I got him away. I never ever told anyone I payed down and tried to go back to sleep and forget about it but then her step brother came in and asked me for a kiss and ( I know I sound like a disgusting slut who deserves it) I let him I later needed up sleeping next to him in his bed next to him and his sister my friend because I didn’t want to be alone by myself. I went home the next day but I continued to be friends with her and stay there I basically buried what had happened (it has happened twice before different times) I am now dating her step brother and have been for 5 years. Anyway to the point I accidentally told him about it while I was extremely drunk I don’t know how or why but now he wants to do so,etching about it but I don’t want hi, to because it was so long ago and I didn’t want to cause issues with him and his step brother or rest of his family and I feel horrible about it I didn’t want anyone to know because he has a wife now and I child and I didn’t leave I didn’t tell anyone all that time ago I feel like they will all say I’m lying and it will ruin his family and he’ll leave me. What do I do someone help me please. I did not want him, I didn’t do anything for him to feel like he could do anything me either please know I’m not a slut. We now have a child together and are engaged so there’s a lot gone on since then and just reading this makes me feel dirty and disgusting

The other times where with people I knew well that I didn’t tell anyone about either because I’ve been to scared to admit it and I also am on 2 lots of antidepressants, self harmed over all these situations and other things. As well as anxiety and social anxiety so I’m even more anxious since I fucked up and let my deepest secret out.