What do I do?

Question

So it took three months out of my relationship and this picture to show me what my ex did. How do I get better from here? Should I warn the girl that has his affections now?

Answer

I wouldn’t “warn” her. She’s probably just as blind as you were and would tell him and it would turn into a mess. You should work on you and try to forget about him. I KNOW how hard it is. Just within the last year I’ve been able to say my ex’s name without getting nauseous (we broke up five years ago and we dated for six years.)  He really messed me up. Abusive relationship. 😔 I hope you start feeling better.

Answer

I want to agree with the person who said stay away from him and his life.... But it sounds like it is already on your concious and you feel like you owe it to the next girl to warn her so she doesn't go through what you did. Which I totally get... But just keep in mind that with her being 14 years young she might just blow you off and think you are trying to break them up to get back with him and this will only add drama to your life. The best case scenario is that she will be mature enough to understand you genuinely wanted to help her and you did it with pure intentions and she will thank you and protect herself and everyone will move along and live their life. I honestly commend you and respect you for wanting to protect this girl, you have a good heart for that... I just can't say it will turn out drama free.

Answer

Wait....I mean, no disrespect to you, none at all. But....I do all of these things, all the time and.... I mean, I don’t think I was abused, but....maybe I was, I don’t know. I always did this with my as-of-a-week-ago cheating ex. Still do it whenever he decides to drop by. He always got mad easily, see, and I hate arguing with anyone especially him, so I just kind of accepted fault for whatever it was. But he never hit me or tried to make me do things, does that still mean it was abuse...?

Answer

Counseling? Self care is important. Go talk to a pro. As far as the next girl...no. Stay away from him and his life. Block him and let yourself move on. It is not YOUR responsibility to protect the next woman.

Answer

Also, I realized in reading this that I do all of the things on that list... I always knew my abusive "father" screwed me up pretty bad but I had no idea that I did these things because of that.

What do I do?

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