I feel defeated.

We started trying exactly 2 years and 3 months ago in hopes of a baby within a year of trying. Each month I saw way too many negative pregnancy test to even count.. I tried to convince myself that I was pregnant every month and then would get my heart broken over and over and over again. I cried in a way that I could describe as going through a break up.. where it actually hurts when you are crying and it’s hard for you to breath.. I have seen so many family members and friends announce pregnancies throughout those two years including cousins that are younger than me. I witnessed my best friend get pregnant not once.. but twice in those two years. I have taken different vitamins, tried different fertility teas, soft cups, preseed, geritol (which was disgusting!), you name it and I have tried.. and still nothing. I turn 27 on January 1st and I thought that by then I would at least be pregnant but here we are again with my period right on time. My wish more than anything in this world is to have a baby. I love children so much and to have one, or two, or three of my own would be a dream come true but now it’s not stating to look like it’s even going to happen. I know it hurts my boyfriend every time too especially seeing his younger brother and wife with a beautiful little 8 month old and not us. I have been with my boyfriend since high school and on April 1st it will be our 9 year anniversary and he really wanted us to have a baby by then and I couldn’t even do that for him.