Friends?? How does friedship feel?

Sometimes i wonder how it feels to have a friendship and make it last.

I am always the person that will help when someone is going through a tough situation or if they just want to talk. But i never had a friendship that last for more than a few months. No one will even invite me to hang out or anything. They call me a friend but in reality i am not...

I am just someone they can couny on in the time of need and when its over , suddenly the friendship selfies and talks just stop for some reason.

I hate that every time it happens i say it is fine and everything but its not. I feel so lonely. I have a boyfriend for over a year and a half and he is amazing and loving and always there when i need him. But he has friends that would do anything to say friends with him. They say that i am alos friends with them but i know they just talk to me because i am in a relationship with there best friend. He even still has friends from where the were younger.

I know he tries his best with me and i love him for that but then he talks about how his friends are and ask that we hang out with them. I am actually jealous of him and his friends. I want to have that kind of friendships. I want to be that person that friends would fight for.

Sometimes i even think that there is something wrong with me. Why don't i even have one close friendship other than my boyfriend.

This has been going on since forever and a am 18 this year. And i am just wondering...how does it feel to have friends?