Telling The Parents...

I’m 23 and married, with a little one on the way. Thought this would be important to know, and am currently living in another country away from my parents.

So my relationship with my parents isn’t the most functional. I had a very strained relationship with my mother for many years, that was filled with resentment and misguided anger. Yet now that I’m pregnant, I’m closer to her than I have ever been in my life. I told her I was pregnant when I was 12 weeks ( at my safe zone).

My father on the other hand has raised me, has cared for me, and been there for me to kick me in the ass when I did something stupid.

Yet for some reason, I couldn’t tell him I had found a man. That we had dated (long distance- japan) for a whole year before I decided to go to japan to see him. I lied and said I was going with friends just so he would feel better about me going to another country. I got married a month later to my now husband of almost one year. And two months after we got married we conceived our first baby boy who is now due in a couple weeks.

My father still doesn’t know I’m pregnant. He knows that I’m married, but I had also lied to him about when I got married. He thinks we got married in October.

All the lies I’ve had to tell him are killing me, and I want him to know. I don’t want to show up to visit in six months carrying an almost six month old baby and surprising him...

It isn’t fair to not let him know about his grandson, especially that late.

Yet I’m still having a hard time finding the courage to tell him, that he’s going to be a grandpa.

So I want to ask for advice, and I know some of it will be mean and ruthless- I also know some will be kind and well meant.

I just need to hear something that could possibly improve this situation in anyway.

Thank you.