I can't believe my marriage is really over :(

RANT: Going through divorce is so hard. Especially since I'm prego and all emotional. I got married when I was 18 because I got pregnant. He was a great man but always was depressed and had problems in bed :( on top of that we lived In the middle of no where in hot Arizona and I looked up to him to have a to do things together. My marriage started declining and after 3 years of separation I have finally filed for divorce. I'm pregnant with my boyfriends baby but it's hard to let go your first love your first everything. All the memories we had. Makes me cry. I never wanted it to be like this but he didn't want more kids. He didn't want to move back to my home state. He wasn't willing to make things better in our lives. The only reason I didn't file sooner is because he was very suicidal and I had some hope he would miss his family. But his depression took over always. and he had no reason to be depressed :(