My boyfriend and I are 18 and we’re expecting our first baby girl Thea in April.. I’m 21 weeks pregnant yet I keep bouncing back and forth in my mind over whether or not to give her up for adoption, most likely to a distant family friend.

I’m just now settled on a career path (I hope to find a nursing program that will take me to my dream of being a NICU nurse) and have just now gotten some job interviews.

I’m scared for how much our lives and our relationship will change once we have a child between us.

Of course I want a baby but I never planned to have one so early in life, and her arrival will make it so hard to continue working and take any classes that aren’t online. I’m already feeling jealous over the relaxed alone time I have with my Honey; there will be little to no time for each other for nearly 10 years.

It pains me to think of giving away my first child, my body changing permanently for no reason, but I can’t help but think of how much better off we’ll be in a couple years when we have our shit together and can be TTC as a plan. I think of all I can give baby in a couple years when I’m able to provide..

Yet I also think of how rewarding it will be to persevere and look back in 3-4 years at how our little family has progressed.

If anyone has any input, experience, etc, please comment below.. Just a FTM having very real fears.