Need Advice

I recently realized that I am in love with my best friend. I am a demiromantic bisexual and she is a graysexual lesbian. We've talked about being squishes (a term used in the aroace community mainly for like- platonic soulmates kind of). We have also talked about being girlfriends. She asked if I wanted to be her girlfriend and I said yes. Then three days later she said she didn't feel ready to date anyone and needed to figure out her own person first, which I respect. But then I asked if I should wait for her and she basically said that she didn't want to date me and that she saw us more as squishes- the platonic soulmates. I feel completely heartbroken and break down everytime I think of her with another girl, something I know will make her happy. But it hurts me so much. What should I do?