Possibly gonna be my first time?! Lol

Unlike anyone else in high school I never had vaginal sex. It was always the things leading up to it. Every time it almost happened with my bf at the time, I was like nah fam I can’t let you do it bc you’re not on that level yet haha 😂

So fast forward to present day, I’m a virgin looking to get into her hoe stage 😛 like I’m ready for that D tbh. My mindset has changed for a pretty open minded person. I’m mentally prepared for this vs back then. I also just wanna see what it’s all about. Been waiting for a while now.

I went out of state for college and 65% of the cute boys are gay :-( and the others done really show interest in me so I’m just like wow ain’t getting no D here LOL

So recently like a few months ago I hit up my best guy friend and said I’m coming back home for Xmas break, let’s hang out bc I miss him and he always complaining like I don’t hit him up as often etc. So from there he subtly starts flirting with me and replying to my stories on IG and SC like “damn girl what’s yo name” and “let me get at that cake 😍”. To me this is his way of hyping me up as a friend bc before, we were just plain friends but I secretly liked him and then I had a bf at some time later and then when I got out of that relationship, he had entered one. So I never thought he liked me or possibly saw me in that way before. I always thought it was out of friendly love lmao. Recently he and his ex broke up bc she just didn’t appreciate him anymore and she just didn’t care as much. He put in a lot towards that relationship in terms of support, love, and care. I always felt like he needed better bc she wasn’t gonna grow with him.

On IG I posted a few stories where I went to the club with my girls and he was like you go clubbing now? And I was like yeah lol so I told him when I come back take me out to do whatever you been doing bc I see you living ya own life and going out too. So he was telling me to bring all my cute and sexy clothes and my make up to get all dolled up so he can show me off when we go out 😭💘

On snap, we have a streak going on and he told me on there that:

“I can’t fucking wait til you come back tbh” with a pic of him looking like a WHOLE SNACK and showing off his chest a lil thru his tank and muscular arms. I was so shook like damn you trying to ruin me 😭

I asked him like oh word? Why u so excited? And he said do you really want me to tell you? And I said no keep it a surprise lol

Next few days he’s like I hope you’re ready for when u come back. I said well what should I bring to wear? Lol he said he didn’t wanna spoil anything so he didn’t know what to tell me. I said well sexy, casual, cute, or lounges clothes? And this mfer was like bring all that shit HAHA that led to me asking when is this all going down and he said he going out and we STAYING SOMEWHERE for a WHILE and I was shook. Lol.

Basically he planned something out that he’s not telling me any full details except we leaving New Years night and returning on the 4th when I have to fly back. My friends are so excited for me and are telling I’m getting the D lmao

Since then we still snapping and flirting. He always asks me what I’m doing and keep up with me. I don’t ever feel like I’m the only one pursuing him. I feel like it’s mutual.

I considered as well if I should give my first time to a stranger or him bc I had met a guy here but he’s so dry I don’t even think he’s interested or he might be focused on other things. I feel more comfortable giving my first time to my friend because I know him, we care about eachother, always got each others backs, and I do genuinely like him. I trust him and he’s probably the only guy I trust 😂

My thing is tho is like I really don’t want a LDR or any serious relationship bc college and I wanna hoe it out a little lol I still want to be friends with him after this.. I don’t want us to be awkward after... I don’t mind being that chill FWB with him but idk if he’s like that bc I’ve been gone and not as updated to see any changes in him.

Idk how to bring it up to him. Should I ask him if he wants anything serious if he doesn’t bring it up? Should I tell him I want to give it up to him bc I don’t want to do it with anyone else rn?

Pls let me know what y’all think and give me some advice on how to make our NY weekend a hell of a good time if you know what I mean 🍾