Trying to keep the motivation

I apologize for writing so much, but if you want to listen, maybe offer advice, please do. I have always needed to lose weight, even as a child I was overweight. I was born with a rare form of kidney disease, and it has been tough. I’m 22 now, and still overweight. You could say Obese because that is what the BMI tells me, as I’m 245lbs and just 5 feet tall. I have always struggled. When I was younger my kidneys had trouble ridding my body of waste and fluid, my kidneys are okay, but still giving me trouble as always. I have tried on and off to lose weight for so long, but I’ve never lost more than 10lbs. Because I lose motivation, after a few weeks, but now I have a goal I really want to reach. Earlier this year, a newer doctor I had (from moving across the country with my military husband) told me that I needed dialysis asap, and when he said that, it felt like my world had shattered completely, believe or not, dialysis never crossed my mind, and it’s not something I want to do because it scares the fuck out of me. In that moment, I don’t know why, but I felt like my life was over, because all I could picture was being told my kidneys were failing, and I knew I wasn’t ready for a transplant either. So I had moved back with my parents, having to be apart from my husband because he was deploying (great timing I know) and I had no one on base that I really knew yet. Once I was settled in with my parents, it turned out that the doctor at the base was wrong, after I had consulted with my childhood doctor who I had up until 18. My kidneys are doing enough, and dialysis would do more harm in my case. But he recommended I will probably need a transplant in the next five years, and that I need to lose a lot of weight in order to be able to get my kidney transplant. If your BMI is too high, it’s a harder and riskier procedure. Losing 100 pounds is what would probably be best according to the BMI charts, I want to do it safely though, because I can’t push myself to hard because of my kidneys. Anyway, my goal is being motivated by how I really want to have children one day. I want to be a mother, I have always wanted to give birth, I want to have my own little family. It’s just been my dream to be a mother. Yes, I know there other options to be able to be a mother. But I really want to have my own children. And with the transplant, if everything goes well, I would be able to safely have children. That’s what I want. So every time I am working out, I think of holding a positive pregnancy test, celebrating with my husband and my family, and imagine how wonderful it will feel one day to be holding my baby. The type of workout I found to be enjoyable, is dancing. I’m so terrible at it, so it’s a way to get better. And I have a lot of fun. I also do other various exercises to try to keep things switched up. I’m eating healthier too, and I really can’t wait to see how this year goes. I wanted to post this because I don’t have many people I can talk to in my life, besides my husband and family, as I don’t have that many friends since I’ve been going through so much lately, I didn’t want to bother anyone else with it. So thanks for reading if you did.