Help please?

Question

I am 23 weeks pregnant, almost 6 months. I work full time, go to school full time, have my daughter full time and my daughter dances 3 days a week. I don’t come home until 7-10pm every week night and I am busy with my daughter on the weekends. My boyfriend thinks I am neglecting him. We don’t have sex as much because it really hurts me afterwards, I don’t have time to do as much as I used to be able to do. He has been talking down to me so bad lately and I don’t know what to do. I told him this morning that since I have two weeks off from school, I am going to show him how much I love him and since I won’t be as busy, I’ll be able to do more for him. I honestly am so busy with school, work, and my daughter I genuinely don’t have time to do extra. I am posting something he said to me this morning after I told him I had two weeks off. Am I being dramatic? Should I be dropping something to free up a little time to tend to him? What should I do? I’m so emotionally hurt and tired of him talking to me this way so I need advice. I asked him to stop using abusing words then I just said abusing. 
Please help me thank you. Also when I say abuse I mean verbally. Is this verbal abuse?

Answer

Yeah this is not ok - it was really hard for me to have sex the last half of pregnancy’s and I tried for hubby sake. He teased me about it sure but would never say this. We both work full time and o would alsways do as much as I could and tell him honestly when I just couldn’t make it happen - baby is born now and I can wait to be able to be with him again. If he had acted like this I would not be feeling that way. 
It’s possible he’s having doubts and second thoughts about fatherhood and is assuming you are putting him last but if your oreganantnwith his child this should be inspiring to him not a cause for contention. He sounds abusive and is giving you his true colors before marriage and baby etc I would take his cue and leave. A man who is legitimately jealous of children has problems that will only get worse.

Answer

I hope you leave this jerk. I understand when feeling neglected, but damn that is no way to act and treat a person. Does he expect you to quit school or work for him? Or to give up your kids for him? Heck maybe right now isn't a good time for a relationship, but also with the right person they wouldn't do this to you. They would support you and cherish whatever time they can spend with you. 
When I started my relationship with my now husband, we lived 3,000 miles apart and both went to school full time and I was also working while taking care of my daughter alone. Never once did either of us hurt the other when we got busy. We understood. 
You're doing an amazing job taking care of your daughter while working and studying when also pregnant.

Answer

Omg leave. He’s a asshole. Find someone who actually treats you with respect that’s not ok

Answer

My husband and I both work, he works 4 am to 5 pm, I work 8:30 am to 5:30 pm, I come home, cook, clean, sit down to eat dinner at 7 pm, get up clean the dishes clean the kitchen, by the time we’re in bed it’s 10:30. 
We still have time for each other, we make sure to make time for each other. Don’t leave this man, make an effort. He’s clearly very upset, it’s completely normal to want to feel wanted. Yes the swearing and abuse isn’t okay, but you’re not the victim here.. he wants your attention

Answer

You're pregnant and.. He should understand if it hurts you that sex is off the table and it should make him not want to have sex if it hurts you anyways... Plus you're busy.. and PREGNANT, AND have a daughter.. if he doesn't understand why you don't have time like you used to, and gets mad at you over it..he's selfish.
 He's doing some major gaslighting and manipulation saying you're "neglecting him" . And the way he's talking to you is verbally abusive and completely unnecessary. I think it's time to walk away. These are MAJOR red flags🚩.. if you need to talk I'm here. I've been in a very abusive relationships that started verbal and emotional and they were insanely manipulative. Not saying your man is physically abusive or will be for sure because he's acting this way, but it never starts that way(immediately with physical abuse) and regardless, emotional abuse hurts and is just as traumatizing sometimes... Even if it's hidden in manipulation. With my man now I catch my self apologizing for, what seems like now, ridiculous things, but I only notice they're ridiculous when my boyfriend points them out. And I realize its a habit I picked up from always needing to feel sorry, and that's not healthy..
 Seeing these messages reminded me a lot of my ex. He would use the fact that I was an empathic person, to guilt me, knowing I would feel bad. These behaviors don't generally get better. Then usually get worse. Much worse, especially if they have an anger problem, which it appears he does from how foul he talks to you. If you need to talk more/ and talk privately I'm here! I don't ever want anyone to go through what I went through.

Answer

Wow yo nigga is a pussy. Your are carrying his child!

Answer

This really hurt me to read. My two kids dad was an abusive POS. Mentally physically and emotionally. This totally just took me back to how he was in a small way. I’m so sorry love. I know your pain, this stress isn’t good for the baby or your other child. I know it’s easier said then done TRUST ME, but take time for yourself. He is no good to have around. 😔

Answer

Okay I might be onto he minority with this thought, but to me it sounds like you do need to make more time for him. My husband and I went through the samething, except I wasn't pregnant. We went through alot of crazy bad fights and finally made it a point to choose a time every night and no matter what that was our time. We would talk, cuddle, or have sex. But we made a point to see each other and make time. It really helped us specially when I was pregnant. It's not always about sex, (as much as men make us think it is) he needs some attention also, even if its just talking and cuddling get intimate without sex.

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I think this could be my ex. You are so much better off without him

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I truthfully don’t know why you’re still with him at all. I didn’t read most of those messages because they were heartbreaking but this 100% is verbal and emotional abuse.
If he needs to be tended to like your child needs to be, then he’s being a spoiled baby. He is a grown man and can take care of cooking his own meals, jacking off, and wiping his own ass.
By the time I was as pregnant as you are, my boyfriend expected that I rest after work and put my feet up to avoid swelling and he wanted to cook for me every night. You are not being treated properly and I desperately hope he doesn’t treat you this way in front of your daughter.

Help please?

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