ECV :( I feel so defeated (long)

My baby is still breech, and now there are added complications.

I am high risk because I have GD am "old" (39), have a bad ovary, a compromised immune system and am over weight.

I have been anxious my entire pregnancy because I want this baby so badly, and have been terrified of Labor/Delivery. I have had some dramatic deliveries in the past. Not terrible but difficult with 2/3. So I was never expecting a walk in the park. But I felt confident and strong in my ability to get pregnant and have a baby.. and then the issues started.

I worked all the way through to 35 weeks despite having issues with pain, and tried to stay really strong. The baby has been healthy, with great heart rates and activity levels and while on the larger side not dangerously so.

My A1c dropped from 7.6 to 5.1 and I have lost 37 lbs while pregnant with no gains.

I was scheduled to be induced on the morning of Dec. 30.

Now everything has changed. I have posted a few times about this baby doing somersaults and being breech one day and posterior litterally 2 days later. Well he had been breech again for the last week and a half and now he has moved up really high.

He is in an abnormal position where his head is up on the right side of my body, (feels like just under my ribs) and he is "sitting" in a reclined / diagonal position with legs mostly extended and feet at the left side of my pelvis.. so a mostly transverse position but the only way he can move down is butt first legs up or feet first. Both which are complicated breech positions. (Frank or Footling)

So.. today at my obgyn appointment I got checked and am 1cm dialated and 20% effaced. After the dr checked me I started bleeding A LOT, clots, esentially I lost my mucus plug and have had a ton of pain in my uterus. Dr did an ultrasound and saw the babys postion and is referring me to go for ECV on the morning of the 28th.

External cephalic version is when three doctors working together attempt to turn the baby manually from the outside. During which the placenta can tear, mom and baby can both be bruised, and a few other terrible possibilities. I have had this done before with my daughter 14 years ago because she was breech after they started induction.

As soon as he turns they will induce. If he doesnt turn after a few attempts they will do an emergency c section.

To make it all worse I might be alone the entire time because my fiance already scheduled off work for the day of induction on the 30th but can not get off work on the 28th because they have a HUGE event and won't be able to get the the hospital before 10 PM. If it becomes an emergency he will get to me ass soon as he can but otherwise not until About 6 hours after they start the ECV.

None of my family lives nearby. I have been crying for hours and just want to go to sleep and wake up with this baby born and in my arms

I am so defeated, and in so much pain.

Ugh