22 and sad that I’ll never find someone to be with

I’m 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend or even came close to it. I don’t have friends. And I’m okay with that. I enjoy my alone time a lot. But sometimes I feel crappy that I’ll never be loved like other people get to experience. I’ve always sort of felt like that. When I was in high school, I kept hoping that someone would randomly ask me to prom or something and no one ever did. I just kind of felt like it would happen and I say “I didn’t want to go” to protect myself from the embarrassment. I don’t know if I’m cut out for a relationship honestly because I like staying home and I don’t like talking to people when I’m not in the mood. But I am just sad at the same time I guess. I’ve never been approached by a guy. I’ve never been told that I’m pretty or anything like that. I just feel like I’m bad at being a woman. Im not pretty. Im not feminine at all because I dress for comfort and I think deep down I don’t want to even try because again I’m trying to protect myself. It’s not as sad if you aren’t trying but if you are then it’s pathetic. I know I’m a lot different than others because I don’t attend parties or hang out with people but I guess I always hoped that someone would be right for me and would complement me well. But it isn’t going to happen.

And my parents are upset about it too which hurts me the most. I know they’re sad they’ll never get to walk me down the aisle or pick out wedding dresses or throw me a baby shower. I just disappoint them in every way possible.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this off my chest and I have no one to talk to.