Kind of a stab in the heart..

So my husband and I have been TTC for almost 5 months. We haven’t succeeded yet but no big deal, right? There are so many women who’ve been trying way longer than I have so I shouldn’t give up. It takes time and it’s all in God’s timing. I was good with it and looking forward to talking with my doctor about getting help conceiving next month until I looked at Facebook about 20 minutes ago. My sister-in-law posted that she’s pregnant. It’s probably a wave of jealousy that just crashed into me but damnit it hurt! I feel like we’ve been trying our best and nothing’s happening for us. Maybe I’m just emotional because AF was supposed to be here full force today. I’ve been spotting for 4 days. I asked my husband if he knew about it and he said he found out 2 days ago. He acts as if it’s no big deal and he makes me feel as if he could care less about me being upset about not being able to get pregnant. So, I get up to go cry alone in our bathroom bc the jealousy just hurts. I know I should be happy for them but damnit, I want those two pink lines for myself...I guess I’m just selfish.