Miscarriage 2 days before Christmas...and surprise Christmas announcement...

I had a miscarriage 2 days before Christmas...it was already a hard week. Christmas day I got over to my family's house after work and I could tell. My SIL is pregnant. I could tell before they announced. She didn't think she is showing. But I could still tell. I was a little heart-broken. That twinge of pain you don't expect. After years of trying and years of watching to happen to everyone else around me...all moving on to their 2nd. And I can't even have one.

I am happy for them. It was just too fresh. I feel bad for even being upset about hers to begin with.

Very few know about mine. They don't know either. And I'm not going to tell them. I didn't really have any time to grieve as I worked through the holidays... And then got their announcement.

I don't know why I'm posting. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Trying to find something to be hopeful for in 2019.