I broke up with him- WHY DO I FEEL HORRIBLE

I broke up with my boyfriend. We dated for 2 years and it ended because he was horrible to me. He cheated on me once and I broke up with him and kicked him out my house.

But months later we reconnected and everything was so good. He’s been doing everything I asked him to do to ensure I trusted him. He took me out on dates like never before. We laughed, we planned for the future- but I was keeping it all from my friends and family in fear of their judgement and it made me feel so guilty.

But lately... I just haven’t felt the same. I tried and tired to rationalize but I didn’t feel in love anymore and I realized I didn’t wanna tell my family about him because didn’t trust him and I couldnt forget what he did. He’s treated me so good in the last 6 months like never before but... I couldn’t go on. The thought of having kids with him scared me because I didn’t wanna get trapped by him of all people, someone I didn’t trust completely. So I broke up with him and it broke my heart. He was my best friend. I love him but wasn’t in love with him. Why do I feel so horrible? Why do I feel like I made a mistake if I knew why I did this?