The title may be a bit confusing but let me explain. For years and years her behavior towards me has been extremely toxic.. at some points its been so toxic that i had no idea which thoughts were mine and which were hers. She has a way of manipulating me in making me feel like im wrong when im not. This has lead to immense insecurities as an adult. Im lucky to have my fiancé to remind me that everything bad that happens isnt my fault. Lately ive been having a tough time.

I love my mom to death because shes my mom. But she has an addiction to pills. She tries to tell me everyday how she needs me to find them for her and gets mad and manipulative if i dont. She tells me in fucked up. Im expecting my first born baby any day now and i really dont want her to be around.

When i found out i was pregnant, she told everyone and told them not to tell me. When i found out the gender at the 20 week scan, i wanted to wait to go home before announcing, she threw a huge fit. My fiances battery died at the drs office there and she told me that she wouldnt come jump it because "i was a selfish bitch for not telling her the gender of HER baby" she left us there and it was probably over 100 degrees outside that day.

She has tried to have complete control over the name of my baby and kept saying "no thats not her name" etc etc "i just have a feeling my baby is named something different" WTF??

Shes insisting on being in the room which i was going to let her. People may not understand but this is just how shes always been. However, im really afraid that shes a ticking time-bomb ready to explode at any minute. She said that she will do everything she can to prevent me having a c-section.. which would include her throwing a huge fit while me and the baby could possibly be in distress(not planning on a c-section anyways!!). She acts like all drs are wrong and shes right. Im conflicted because i want my child to have a grandmother (thats another thing, she insists on being called bebe because shes "too young" to be a grandma and she wants it to be my babys first word before dada and mama) i dont want to cut her off because shes my mom and i do love her. But i cant sit here and have her try to force me into illegal activities and feeling bad about myself. Ive been stressed a lot during this pregnancy and its 100 percent because of her. If you read this, thank you. Not sure what im needing here.. i guess if anyone understands that would be nice to hear.. or some advice.