This will seem super trival to most, and selfish to others... And to me it seems like both but, also with a huge dose of disappointment.

Yesterday, I attended my husbands promotion ceremony and my daughter and I pinned his new rank on him... While his orders were being read, his commander accidentally slipped up and spilled the beans that we'd be staying at the same duty station.. and I should be thrilled, he got a decent sized bonus for reenlisting and a pay raise. We also don't have to worry about selling our house, we are still going to be down the road from his family while about an hour and a half from mine...but, I just feel like he kind of lead me on to believe we'd end up going somewhere else. He'd said it was near impossible to get restationed here.. and he and I decided on our top three choices... Which didn't include staying here... Well I also said when he finds out it'd be cute to make a video where we'd have our daughter open a gift and the next duty station we'd end up would have to do with the gift, that didn't get done. We talked about the top 3 choices, he said he put in, As where we currently are was nearly impossible to get (like 99% chance).. Well, after I'd pinned his new rank on him his commander accidentally said "they will be staying here" and I looked at my husband like "wtf" and then afterwards he was like.. what's wrong, why are you upset, ect.. and I told him we'd talk about it at home, let's just enjoy the rest of the ceremony.

Well, my daughter and I get home.. and he comes home a few hours later.. and we talked about it.. and he was like it was just a luck of the draw, I made the request for this place first.. and then the other three. Like, that's cool.. but I feel like you lead me to believe that this wasn't going to happen, and that you weren't even going to put in a request for where we are currently and that you equally wanted to go somewhere else. 🤷 It's only for two years.. but the next place we end up my husband has to go where the army sends us, no request. so I feel like he kinda wasted the opportunity to take advantage of at least going to somewhere desirable to us.. I know this is completely stupid.. but, I just wished we wouldn't have said anything about other places or even discussed the ideas of other places especially after he knew we'd be staying here, he found out on 12/28 we'd be staying here, meanwhile I sat here and talked about these other places..up until I found out the news on the 4th. 

I also understand, there's no use in continuing to feel diappointed.. as it is what it is. There's no way to change the out come, it shouldn't matter anymore as it is what is is.. but.. I can't help but to feel this sense of disappointment and it sucks 

Obviously, I didn't let my disappointment ruin the day, we talked about it, I "got over it" but honestly deep down.. I didnt get over it. We've been here for 6 fucking years. But here's to 2 more 🥂 I love change, I love new experiences.. and I was excited to actually go somewhere different.. but my husband hates those things.. and I know we will end up living here when he finally retires from the military so to me it just seems like 🙄 you told me you weren't going to request this place.. then requested as the first option.. and you got it. You're happy. I'm diappointed. I'm proud of you and your accomplishments but deep down I'm disappointed.

Honestly I don't know if, it's not even entirely about staying here.. Its just the fact that he does this thing where we talk about change and everything stays the same.. and it's hard to sit here and believe what he says when he can't even change the little things I ask .. so maybe I was hopeful of going somewhere different and starting fresh.. maybe, I'm just selfish.