Hey everyone,

I seldom ask the internet for advice but this one is beyond me...

My mom is dying, she has a few months left to live. She lives with my aunt.

My aunt has mental issues. She was being really passive-aggressive with me and my 2 siblings when I visited my mom at her house the other day.

She was mad for me wanting to sit down at the couch, for boiling water, wanted my seat at the table when there was still 2 other empty chairs and I was holding my 10 month old, stormed around the house and brushed my shoulder then slammed the front door because I told her dog to get down when he was trying to eat our food off the table.

She always generally acts better and higher class than you and she’s very disagreeable. She always has to have a one up on you somehow, either intellectually or financially. She brags a lot about things she purchased recently and always mentions the brand name. It makes it really hard to enjoy any conversation with her.

My cousin was there who’s near my brothers age, she’s 18. She got home, sat down and went on her cell phone at the table and didn’t say hi to any of us, or my mom. We never visit since my Mom moved here. This was the first time. My mom is bone thin now and her skin is jaundiced, her lips are white, and her eyes are really dark. I swear neither of them have a soul. She dresses like a prostitute and that’s no word of a lie. She’ll walk around in -10 Celsius in a bra top and leggings or booty shorts that look like underwear and a sweater over it. That’s besides the point but basically my aunt worships her and her dog. She pets her hair and massages her shoulders and caters to her on bended knee. She talks to her in this little sweet voice. I don’t think she wipes her own butt still.

Anyway, I texted my aunt when I got home and told her I wont let her intimidate me and act hostile like that (she was still out when I left). I said I know she clearly didn’t want us over but her lack of communication with my mom is not a reason to take out her anger on me and my siblings (I’m the oldest btw).

She never answered my text. Instead, a few minutes after I sent it, my mom called me to tell me to stop texting her because I may ruin things for her and she’ll kick her out (keep in mind my mom is on strong meds, I know my aunt wouldn’t do that). She said she already told her how we all felt and how we don’t want to visit again. She told me she’s upset. Well, she hasn’t apologized yet.

She doesn’t even care about my moms health. I tried telling her about her upcoming blood transfusion because her hemoglobin dropped and she just kept saying “Yep!” in this really high voice while I’m explaining her health problems. I told her I’m worried she’s falling asleep so much that she may not answer her phone to make the appointment. She didn’t care, she was so nonchalant about it.

I’m really disappointed because my mom knows how my aunt is and that I don’t get along with her, yet despite having other people that could be the executor, she chose her.

I’m hanging in there and I’m not visiting or talking to my aunt for now. I’m just not looking forward to dealing with her at the hospital and the funeral. I don’t think she’ll consider anything I want for it.

Any advice and support is much appreciated. Xox

Edit: My Mom doesn’t have anywhere else to stay but her house which she insists we would pay part of the mortgage and utilities which is about $350 more a month than we pay at our place, so we can’t afford it. She won’t come to my place because I live in an apartment and she’s have to sleep on our couch or a pull-out couch since I don’t have an extra room. She had a falling out with her friend recently as well after living with her and her friend kicked her out basically for no reason saying she thinks she’d be better with family. Unfortunately my mom is surrounded by really odd or mean people.