Dreaming about DH haha (kinda long)

​It's so weird especially since we can't have sex, I'm suppose to wait 2-3 cycles before we TTC again and it seems like a good plan, I don't plan on trackin using OPKS cuz we got pregnant that way and it ended in MC, so I'm feeling kinda nervous. I'm so afraid of havin another MC and it was bad. I was hospitalized for it. I see my dr tomorrow to get checked out by her so hope she can help me with how crappy I'm feeling from everything hat happened at the hospital. But DH said to me that he's not sure now that he wants more kids cuz I think him coming to see me in the hospital scared him, it sure scared me and my stepdad who took me so DH could stay with our son and keep him distracted. But it really hurt my feelings when he told me that. I was already feeling shitty from loss of blood as the transfusion and so much pain and needles and then he tells me that I just cried for 2 days on and off until I realized he'll get over it but I'm still nervous he won't. Either he does an we have sex or he doesn't and our intimidate relations will stall. We don't have dr that often anyways, maybe 2 or 3 times a month when I was on my pill before. And we haven't had sex at all since like July 1st, ad we found out it died on July 12th at the first ultrasound. So sex hasn't never been big for us :/ ... I just don't know. I feel kinda lost in what I'm suppose to do.