HG Mommas?!

Hi ladies, I’m about 4 months postpartum and I’m stressed out at the possibility of being pregnant again. I had a horrible battle with HG (lost 50 lbs, admitted for two weeks half way through for feeding tube and reintroduce all vitamins to my body, not to be dramatic but, my girl and I almost didn’t make it with how malnourished we were) and I never want to be pregnant again, let alone so soon.

I’m waiting a few more days to confirm I’m definitely not, it’s still super early but, basically I woke up this morning feeling so similar to how I felt almost a year ago to the day. Headache, so insanely tired, stuffy nose going on and off, super bad back pain and some cramps, nausea, and an IDENTICAL vivid dream to one I had shortly after implantation last year (completely random stuff, nothing to do with babies but even IN the dream this time I “woke up” and told my husband that I just had the same dream I had a year ago. When I actually woke I was so disoriented-WEIRD). I had the most random huge glob of snot like CM last night (which is odd because even before and after pregnancy I’m consistently dry, I even took Mucinex while TTC to help produce CM at all). So I had what I thought were a few left over opk cheapies under the sink thinking it’s way too late to be ovulating (CD 23 out of what’s been a 26 day cycle since birth, this will be my 4th period) but who knows, ya know? It was an HCG cheapie. 🙄 Now I’m in my head about whether I actually see a line or whether I can even trust it since it’s so early but, my internet cheapie a year ago looked just like this one so I’m just so nervous.

Anyway, to my question. How many HG Mommas had a second (or more) child after their HG experience. Was it worse? Better? The statistic seems pretty high for having it again. Give me the good and the bad, just in case. Is there anything proactively you did the second time around to make sure things didn’t get horrible? Did anyone have no HG at all the second time? We had to completely remodel our bedroom because going in there would give me so much anxiety and remind me of laying in bed sick as death so any positive stories would be great but, I’d also like to be realistic so be honest!