Possible depression during pregnancy ( Long post)

A little bit background. I am currently pregnant with my third baby, almost 7 weeks.

I had a very traumatic experience with my second pregnancy, childbirth and his first couple months of life. I was almost completely isolated during that time, with no support at all, and along with intensive mental stress. I feared my baby and I will die all most everyday, and had self harming thoughts in multiple occasions.

Everything around me gets better after that traumatic period. Except I constantly having nightmares, flashbacks and some physical discomforts. I never got professional help for this.

It has been two years since the traumatic experience, and I am healing slowly. Still feel emotionally detached with almost all the people around me, but nightmares and flashbacks are getting less.

However, since I find out I am pregnant again recently. All my nightmares and bad emotions are coming back. I start having panic attack, and couldn’t catch my breath when I experience a memory flashback.

I don’t know what to do. My husband and my family members did not want to talk about this with me. They think everything is already in the past, i should be strong and let it go. Also I think they might feel guilty about deserted me two years ago, and did not want to face it.

I am in so much fear now. I want to let go of the traumatic past and enjoy my life, but it seems the past is hunting me.