To my pregnant friends...

To my pregnant friends, if I haven’t congratulated you on your pregnancy don’t think I’m not happy for you because I’m overjoyed for you. I envy you because you’re able to get pregnant easily, you’re able to actually have a child. If I don’t come around for awhile, don’t think I’m being a horrible friend. It’s only because it kills every ounce of me, it kills me to hear pregnancy talk. It kills me when someone says, “when it’s your time, you’ll have a child” or when someone says, “if you stop, it’ll happen”. So please, don’t take it to heart. If you’re ever in shoes like mine, you’ll understand the heartache when you see pregnancy announcements. Having already planned how you’ll tell the father of the child that he will finally be a dad & how you’ll tell your parents & his parents that they’ll be grandparents. Having the godmother & godfather picked out, even down to the child’s entire name for a boy and girl. Every month seeing BFN test, spending money even though you know it’ll say “negative” & looking SO HARD for that second pink line, thinking that you just “missed” it because it’s so faint (even taking a picture of the negative test and converting the filter to see if anything shows). It’s just hard and exhausting, but I’m overjoyed for you, I really am💓

So please, instead of saying the comments of “it’ll happen someday” just say a prayer for me instead, for a tiny miracle.