Border line breaking up

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a couple months. And right now we’ve been fighting every week and I don’t know what to do. He’s horrible but at the same time he’s my only friend and the only guy I feel like I’m ever gonna love. Me and him have been through too much shit and I feel guilty because I feel like I’m the reason he’s suffering. My family forced us to “break up “ so our relationship is practically virtual right now , and he wants me to fight for us against my family . But he doesn’t understand how hard it is to choose him or them. He makes me feel like a ducking asshole for “‘making him stay” with me, but whenever I tell him we should break up he literally says he’s gonna kill him self or literally disappear and start a new life in another state .

My biggest guilt is that he is completely alone here , he doesn’t have a single family member or even q best friend to express himself with , or a shoulder to lean on