I feel so useless. So worthless. I feel like I'd be better off dead. All the people around me would be much happier. I'm nothing but a problem. A nuisance. Just another issue. I don't expect anyone to be able to handle me. I can't even handle me. Today marks my 1 year anniversary. I've been with him for a while now. Been friends for 4 years prior. Started off great. Now I'm scolded for every little thing I do. I'm sorry I'm not a perfect Barbie. I don't blow dry my hair. I don't curl it because I can't. I don't paint my nails because I'm bad at it. I don't like to wear makeup all the time. I'm a bit on the heavier side. I have issues in my life. I've got depression. I'm sorry that my depression stresses you out. I don't mean to be such an inconvenience. I told you in the beginning I didn't want a relationship. I told you that for your own good but you persisted. Now I feel like garbage. Just another used item to be thrown away. I'm trying to be everything you want me to be. I'm trying to be everything I want me to be. But....it just won't happen that way. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being me and I'm sorry you ever met me. I know I cause nothing but grief in your life. My parents can't even handle being around me for long because I have so many issues that I've gathered over the years. I don't have friends. I don't like to talk to people. I don't like to let anyone know that anything is wrong. I'm tired. Of everything. Being made to feel like I'll never amount to anything. Like I'll never be enough. But is enough ever really enough? Will I ever be good enough? I know I'm hard to love. And I don't understand how you do it. Because if I was you I wouldn't love me. I'd avoid me at all costs. I'm sorry I'm me.