Abusive relationship? Am I overreacting or am I right to trust my gut? Long read, but I desperately need advice.

I haven’t heard from my best friend in months, so I messaged her today and I guess she’s been living with a guy that I have never been fond of. He is the type of guy that thinks he’s gangster even though he’s never experienced gang violence, he’s a white guy that says “n*gga” nonchalantly, he doesn’t have a job nor does he have any intent of getting a job, he’s 20 and already has an extensive criminal record, and was accused of hitting his ex-girlfriend, though it was never proven. ANYWAYS, I asked if she wanted to hangout with me and our long-time friend who is male, (friends since middle school), and she replies to my message with:

Her: I’m not allowed to hangout with him 😔

So, I texted our friend and asked if something happened, to which he told me that he asked if she wanted to hangout, and her “boyfriend” got on her phone and started threatening him and told him to never talk to her again. Of course that rubbed me the wrong way, so I said:

“I don’t mean to be nosey, but as your friend I feel like it’s wrong that he won’t “allow” you to hangout with your friend because he’s insecure. I just hope you’re not putting up with stupid shit because you deserve so much better”

And then she replied,

“I wouldn’t want him hanging out with other girls either, so I understand where he’s coming from”

After that I told her that she was smart enough to make her own decisions and wise enough to set her own boundaries, but never let your emotions trick you into settling for less than you deserve. From personal experience, insecurities turn into toxic relationships. I’m not saying that it will turn into a toxic relationship, but please just remember these things for me, the most important thing I learned after escaping my abusive relationship, (which the beginning of our relationships have a disturbing amount of similarities, by the way)

I told her to remember

1. Feeling guilty does not make it okay, and it does not mean that it won’t happen again.

2. Control is not a form of love.

3. Words can be abuse too.

4. Myself, along with many other people are here to pull you out if you feel stuck, metaphorically or literally.

5. Just because he makes it feel like it’s your fault, doesn’t mean that it is.

6. Know your worth.

I told her that I couldn’t possibly know her situation and that I just wanted her to be safe, to which she replied “I love him and he treats me really well, I think he might be the one. I’m okay Susie, really.”

And it just makes my stomach turn because it wasn’t more than a year ago that i said the exact same thing when she tried to warn me about my abusive ex. Everything about this situation is eerily similar to how my past relationship began.

If you were able to read this all and get to this point (god bless you lol), do you think I’m overreacting or do you think that I should trust my gut? How can I be a good friend to her without stepping on her toes?