I hate not knowing how long this whole TTC thing will take. I was so happy when I got my BFP after 5 mos of trying, only for it to end at my first ultrasound at 9 weeks when we learned the baby hadn’t grown past 6.5. We tried again after one period and I got another BFP, this time a chemical. It’s been two more cycles since then, both BFN. That’s a total of 8 tries, two early losses, but 10 months time considering the miscarriage and one month that we were apart and couldn’t try. I hate this. As we approach one year of TTC with nothing to show for it but heartache I’m finding it harder and harder to get out of bed, and I’m starting to resent my husband for making us wait as long as we did to even start. I have always wanted to be a mom. How can I be 32 and childless?!