I had my son almost 3 weeks ago and we had him circumcised. I let his dad make the choice and I did do some research about it- both pro and con. I thought it sounded like there were good and bad qualities to circumcising so I didn’t feel strongly one way or the other.

I signed the consent form in the hospital and they didn’t take him until he was 2 days old.

When they did my heart dropped and i wanted to cry and take him back and tell them no. I didn’t. I let them take my baby.

He came back stressed and red and he had puked up the Tylenol that they gave him.

The nurse said “we tried to give him a binky. Its to comfort them, but they don’t take it most of the time anyway.” That bothered me more than it should have.

The thought of my perfect boy being cut and hurt and restrained when he didn’t like having his limbs away from his body anyway breaks my heart.

I let them cut away a healthy part of his body. I feel so guilty. His pediatrician said that his foreskin in reattaching and will need to be pulled back and it could be uncomfortable.

I hate that he was put through that stress and pain and i wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to protect him.

I’m praying that if we have another one its a girl so i don’t have to make that choice again. I told my parents how guilty i felt and they brushed it off and told me it would be absolutely awful not to circumcise my next one. Worst thing i could do.

I hate it. I absolutely hate that i’m expected to allow my child to go through stress and pain.

I wanted to share that with any other moms who don’t think its a choice that matters much to them. I didn’t think it was. Now i just hope he doesnt keep having pain and i really hope i made an okay choice. I knew it wasn’t the right one when they came in the take him. I didn’t stop them and now i cry from the guilt.