Worried

So i have EUPD (Emotionally unbalanced personality disorder) due to being raped at 5 by a family member, and trafficked and sold at 14 its something that happened to me that im proud to share as I AM A SURVIVOR! My only worry is postnatal depression as im 20 weeks pregnant atm with my first, i get absolutely petrified im not going to have enough love for my beautiful baby, any one else who has had children did you worry about this during your first pregnancy ??? Please let me know