I feel terrible.....
I want to start by saying that I LOVE my daughter with everything that I have. I would never trade her for anything in the world. But...
Im overwhelmed, ya'll. I have been awake for 2 days straight, going on 3. All she wants to do is sleep all day but only in my arms, and then cluster feed literally every 10-30 minutes ALL NIGHT. She is breastfed. My breasts and nipples HURT. She wont give me time to pump for bottles. Every time I even think of starting the machine, she wakes up hungry. She refuses to take a pacifier at night.
Ive come close to just crying my eyes out multiple times, which is what I am doing now because I just got so angry with her that I threw the pacifier. It isnt her fault. She is only 2 weeks old. She needs me, and I know that this wont last long and that I need to cherish every moment of it. And I am, truly.
I am so, so mad and ashamed at myself for getting frustrated with her. Even now lookimg down at her tiny face while she eats for the 4th time on 2 hours, knowing that I wont be able to even lay down probably until my husband wakes up at 4ish. I just want to be able to soothe her without having to feed her every 10 minutes. I feel like such a bad mother.
Sorry, I just needed to rant, I guess. I will probably delete this later.
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