Marriage...

I hate my marriage. I'm trying so hard not to hate my husband. I love him. But I'm not in love with him. I've been trying to leave for at least 5 years, but I always feel guilty and take it back. We cant go but like 2 days without arguing over the dumbest shit. We have 2 kids and I hate the thought of having to share them. He is a mostly great daddy, but an awful husband. I am miserable. But I cant make myself leave. Neither of us is happy but he will never admit it. He knows I'm not happy, but still begs me to stay and keep trying. He fake cries to make me feel guilty. He begs for sex and never wants to let me shower alone. Even when we are arguing. I have no interest in anything sexual anymore. If I didnt have kids, I wouldn't be here anymore. They are my reason for living. And I keep finding myself talking to other people to take my mind off of everything. I know what I need to do, but I cant do it. :(