Sleep training? Too late?

We have a 14mo & it is so difficult to get him to sleep in his crib ALL night. We usually put him to be around 8:30/9 & he’ll stay asleep until 12 then just fuss non stop, until picked up.

The thing is, I wouldn’t be picking him up if it weren’t for him hurting himself. He wakes up, cries, yells & when he realizes he isn’t getting attention, he starts banging his head on the side of the crib. Any advice for this? I know crib bumpers aren’t safe, & I don’t know how to fix this.

I’m also due with our 2nd next month & our 1 yr old still sleeps in our bedroom, in his own crib. Help? Advice? How do I fix this? I always say I’ll let him “self-soothe” but that’s kind of hard to do when he’s banging his head 😩 help.

I should mention he still uses a paci & takes a bottle at night.