Husband and porn

So I need help.... I know porn in relationships is a diverse discussion topic. If I get a lot of rude responses I’ll just delete the thread so please only helpful responses.

I have issues with any guy Ive dated to watch other women naked.... I think it provokes their minds to be into other women besides their own. I also think my husband compares what he sees in pornos to what I do in bed. He corrects me sometimes making me feel like I must not fit the quality of his video he watched.

There’s times I’ve caught him just straight up looking at naked photos of their tits and vaginas and it just makes me feel like mine aren’t good enough.

It causes extreme self-conscious issues...

We’ve had many fights over it and it’s honestly causing a toll on me that I don’t feel like I can deal with it anymore.

Before we got married, before our first baby and now twins on the way, he has cheated. He has had multiple sites where he would get naked photos of women sent to him and say dirty things to them.

I’m not naive to know that there are a lot of guys that do this type of shady shit. Thankfully, he grew up. We have moved forward from that. However, when porn comes up, it does bring up my concern of it becoming a gateway back to it when porn doesn’t become enough...

I know a lot of this is me and and internal battle with thinking I’m not good enough. We don’t have a lot of money, so therapy isn’t quite a plausible answer... but I’m trying to find ways to cope with this because I honestly can’t take the pain from it:

I’ve had a lot of friends say, “my man doesn’t do that” (which he probably does) or others that have no problem and their man actually jokes about watching porn on their big screen: it sounds terrible but I actually envy those women who don’t care... I know a couple who sends porns they think are the best to one another... i could never.

Ultimately I’m wanting to feel peace with myself. To not be worried if he has his phone in the shower, he must be watching porn. Or if he is on the toilet for too long he must be watching porns. It’s too much for me... so please... helpful advice if there is any for such a thing... 😰