Losing it!!

Hey everyone , I’m getting more and more down about having Endo... I’m 21 found out i had Endo when i was 19 almost 20 due to being on depo for 4 years. I finally gotten off of depo and got my first period in 4 years and cried. Am i wrong for feeling like this is just a painful reminder that i will never be a mother ?? or experience the one great thing is women were created for ? Seriously thinking about just poisoning my body with birth control to keep the reminder away 😞