I got out of a year long serious relationship in November and I've gone on dates with guys from Tinder ever since. I felt great after the break up but now I'm crashing down and fell into the mental state of thinking that I'm going to be alone forever. (Yes I know going on dates with guys was a bad idea in the first place) I understand that it's just part of the process of dealing with a breakup, it just sucks so much. Part of me wants to go into a relationship just so I can not be lonely but the more mature side clearly knows that I'll just end up hurting them and not love them. (I've done it before at a younger age with the help of facebook and fantasy of being popular with guys) This feeling is just the worst. May not make sense but why can't I be happy with myself knowing I'm single? I do like meeting guys and it's helping me be more confident in myself but I just feel alone since everyone is married/in a relationship before 30 and now I feel like I'm the rare few that are single. My great uncle told me that he and his first wife divorced and he was going to commit suicide but he saw how she moved on; he stopped himself and moved on too and now he's married again and has two daughters. Thinking of his story gives me a bit of hope that I'll find someone but I have to remind myself it takes time and not an instant thing. I also have to remind myself that I need to care and love myself before anyone else.

Sorry if my rant is confusing and stupid because of my actions. My past relationship wasn't the healthiest towards the end so I actually felt free and not as heartbroken as I thought I would be.