Step mom struggles
Hey everyone so I'm just posting to vent/rant really but my step mom and I have a very rocky relationship that we have basically just started repairing as of January 2018. It was SEVERLY damaged and I had a lot of built up anger and distrust so the repair process has been long and full of giant steps backwards with some small steps forwards. We live across the country from my parents and my mom doesn't travel so she has never come to see me, so all of our conversations have been skype or over the phone. When I found out I was pregnant she was aware we were trying for a baby and had texted me asking if I knew if I was pregnant, I responded telling her that i didn't know and that when I do get pregnant I'd like to keep it between me and my husband until the 2nd trimester. Well this wasn't ok with her and she blew up at me saying that I was keeping her out of my life and that it wasn't fair and "everyone tells their mom when they find out" and I explained that I personally wouldn't want to have to explain a miscarriage to anyone, and that it would make me more comfortable to wait. Well she argued with me for a few weeks about it saying that if I did have a miscarriage she saw herself being there to cry with me and that I was being cruel if I kept something like that from her, along with saying that it wasn't fair if my husband knew and she didn't (lol). Well by the time I was about 7 weeks pregnant she finally let it go and was still clueless that I was already pregnant during all of our arguments. I announced at 12 weeks and everything was fine, we started trying to talk casually and avoid topics that would trigger even the smallest disagreement and we were both clearly on edge for a number of months. Well when I was 39 weeks the doctor checked my fluid levels and they were low, so he told me it would be in my best interest to induce, and scheduled an appointment for that night. I texted my parents, inlaws, friends etc to tell them all and she responded by asking me to sign a waver so that if she called the hospital the nurses would update her on what was happening. I said no, because I'm an adult and no one needs access to my medical information/conditions and my husband was perfectly ok with updating everyone. She then called me, asking me why I wouldn't "just do this for her" and that I was being so unfair and I "always try and keep her out of my life" and was actually screaming at me..about 5 hours before I was scheduled to give birth to my child. So I ended up just saying that my husband would update her and the nurses didn't need to do it, and she ended the call with "well I'll have your father talk about this with us later but I'm very upset right now." Later when my dad called me our conversation was "hey so tommy said he'll update us? Ok, thats great. Thank you! Good luck!" So I figured great! Dad fixed it. But then during my induction, at about 5am a nurse came in and woke me, asking if I had parents in California because they were on the phone asking about me but they couldn't tell them any information. I was so fucking angry but I just let it go because I was in pain and my water ended up breaking shortly after. We haven't discussed it at all, I'm not sure they even know that I know they called, but I'm still furious. I'm also scared because we're supposed to be flying out this summer so my mom can meet my daughter and I'm terrified about her emotional response whenever she doesn't get her way along with a ton of other problems she has with control/chemicals/etc. Someone tell me if I was ever being unfair here or if she really is just crazy..