Love really is blind and stupid

Whyyyy must I be in love with someone who has hurt me so much and has made everything worse??? I know someone else who tells me he'd treat me like a queen and tells me he would kill for me and loves me for me, but I'm still so in love with a guy who's made my life hell. I'm upset I can't bring myself to break up with my bf so I can finally be in a relationship I deserve. I hate that I have a sweet spot for my bf and still accept him after everything. Fuck!!!