*birth story at the end*

Hi Mamas! I often scroll through birth stories on here, as I did months ago when I was pregnant with my first baby. Like many of you, I was petrified of labor and delivery. I used to read a lot of pregnancy blogs where women would have horrible complications and every day from the first day I found out that I was pregnant until I gave birth (and even for a while after!) I had INTENSE anxiety about everything related to pregnancy and childbirth. I would mention these anxieties to my doctor at my prenatal appointments, but they never took me very seriously and did not offer me any sort of therapy programs or counseling to deal with my anxieties. They focused so much on depression but didn’t care about the crippling anxiety I was experiencing.

I used to love reading birth stories where everything went flawlessly during the woman’s labor and delivery, baby was absolutely perfect, etc. These stories calmed me down and helped me a lot. I would tell myself, “if these ladies did it, so can I!”

So this message is for all you ladies struggling with what I struggled with. Here are some tips that helped me when I was scared, for anyone who wants to utilize them:

- get yourself preoccupied with hobbies, activities, etc. and don’t leave lots of empty time to overthink things!

- try to avoid reading those terrifying birth stories to freak yourself out even more than you already are, even though I know it’s easier said than done!

- remind yourself that women have been having babies for a reaaaalllllyyyy long time, and that we were created to do this! Your body knows what it’s doing! You’ve got this, Mama.

- when the time comes to head in for delivery, try to breathe and relax as best as you can. Stressing out will only make it harder on your body to do its thing in peace. Tell yourself over and over again, it’ll be over before you know it, and you’ll have that precious baby in your arms really soon and all of your hard work will be worth it!!!

Honestly, I was terrified of dying during childbirth and leaving my husband a single dad...a widow at only 28 years old. I was scared I wouldn’t get to see my baby grow up or hold her in my arms after 9 months of her growing within my womb. As soon as I started going into labor though, these thoughts dissipated almost instantly. I was 110% focused on pushing with the contractions and so preoccupied about how close we were to finally meeting our baby that I wasn’t even thinking about any of he negative thoughts I had during my pregnancy!

And now, here’s my birth story. I’m finally ready to share after months of being preoccupied with a newborn and not having the time to jot my thoughts down. I hope my birth story inspires at least one Mama to stay strong and believe in her ability to bring a tiny human being into the world. ❤️

The night before I was admitted to the hospital, on 11/2/18, I convinced my husband to go to a nearby mall with me so we could walk around and try to help labor get kickstarted. I had had a membrane sweep 3 days prior and a fetal non stress test the day before that showed steady, very small contractions. I was 40+6 weeks on 11/2/18. That night after we had walked for about an hour or so, we went home. My husband’s friends came over to our house and I was laying in my bed upstairs counting the contractions, which felt kind of like really bad period cramps at this point. They were still kind of irregular, so I went to sleep around 11 pm. Next morning 11/3/18 (41 weeks exactly) at 7:30 am on the dot I woke up to really bad contractions. As I timed them, I realized they were starting to regulate. I filled the tub in my bathroom with warm water and sat in it to try to help with the pain. All of the sudden, I got this urge to throw up, so I yelled for my husband to bring me a trash can, stat! The poor man stumbled out of bed, half asleep, running into the bathroom with a trash bin. About half a second later, I puked into the bin. A few more contractions, and I puked again. A few more contractions, and I puked yet again. I thought to myself “okay this is it, this is happening.” This was the point where my worries about childbirth pretty much disappeared. I knew I had to be strong for my husband and for our baby. Our hospital bag was already in the car, so my husband sped us over to the hospital around 12:30 pm. I felt nauseous the entire way there! They checked me and I was 100% effaced, 2 cm dilated, so they decided to admit me. I was super excited at this point because I was ready to not be pregnant anymore!! Lol, all of my third trimester mamas can relate. 🤣 I was dealing with a low platelet count during my pregnancy, so they had to do a quick blood draw to make sure I would be allowed to have the epidural. Thank God, I was just above the limit! So of course I immediately wanted it, and within minutes after it was administered, my nausea completely disappeared and I couldn’t even feel the painful contractions anymore!! It was a godsend. I labored for hours before my mother in law came (my mom lives out of the state and couldn’t make it for the birth). The doctor came in a few times, first administering pitocin, then breaking my water a few hours later, then finally around 4:30 am, she had finished delivering a baby in a different room and she came in and told me to get ready to push! Honestly with the epidural it was not nearly as horrible as I was anticipating, thankfully! After 3 hours of pushing (!!!) our baby girl was born crying and full of life at 7:30 am on 11/4/18. They wrapped her up and immediately placed her on my bare chest for skin-to-skin. Daddy got to cut the cord, we were both crying and so happy. I basically labored for 24 hours from the minute my contractions became regular to the minute she was out! It was long and exhausting but so worth it. I’m a pretty small girl (5’4”, pre-pregnancy weight 120 lbs), and my baby was on the bigger side (8 lbs 7.5 oz, 21”) which was a shock to everyone, including the doctor! I managed to get one small first-degree tear that they quickly sutured up (the doctor was shocked I didn’t tear more since the baby was so big!) So after being anxious for 9 entire months, thankfully things went WAY better than I ever imagined they could’ve gone! All praise to the Most High. 🙏🏻

Anyways, the moral of the story is that we are STRONG women who were BORN with this superpower; the ability to grow life within our bodies! Don’t for a second think that you can’t do this! You’ve got this, Mama. 🧡